guest blogger: dr. shocki, PhD, LMFT, LCSW

We know that relationships and marriage aren’t always rainbows and sunshine (or puppies and lollipops). Relationships take work, compromise and dedication – and endurance to make it through the rough patches. We caught up with local relationship expert, Dr. Raymond Shocki of the Life Source Center, to share his top tips on keeping relationships healthy and happy. Enjoy! xo, B & C

There are months and months of planning for the great event, your wedding.  Now you are back from your honeymoon and into the everyday experience of living with someone who, in many ways, might be very different from you. There is usually no road map to follow – marriage is a learn-as-you-go kind of job. So now what do you do? The following are some relationship tips that may make the road you travel together a much smoother journey.

1. Relationships where both people feel validated, heard and understood stand the best chance of success.

2. People don’t marry the perfect spouse but the relationship can work if each of them grow in the same direction.

3. Relationships need attention paid to the little things that are often taken for granted.

4. Learn to discern between bogged down by the many insignificant issues while missing out on focusing on the few issues that are truly significant.

5. Balance your relationship between being independent of, and interdependent with your partner.

6. Be aware that putting your partner down may be more reflective of your own insecurities, rather than those of your partner.

7. Communicate by talking less and listening more to what is said implicitly as well as explicitly by your partner.

8. Understand that you are married to someone who is different from you and not necessarily wrong because of those differences.

9. When dealing with conflict, focus on one issue at a time rather than being side tracked by other unresolved issues.

10. Be aware that in spite of your differences, having similar values will help you get over the rough spots.

11. Be comfortable enough with each other that you can be yourselves and laugh at your own idiosyncrasies.

12. Trust enough in the relationship to articulate your needs to your partner and feel they are heard and understood.

Eric Foley Photographers

Need some more tips or a one-0n-one session? Dr. Shocki can be reached at lifesourcecenter@aol.com or (860) 628-8474.

Photo credit: Eric Foley Photography

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